Pam Nelson's Blog

Elizabeth Kates Smith Nelson 1928-2008

My mother-in-law, Bette Nelson, died Saturday morning. She was 80 and suffered from Alzheimer's disease. She had been in a nursing home for almost four years.

Bette was married to Lt. Col. (ret.) George W. Nelson for 56 years. They had seven children, David, Garry, Chris (my husband), Tim, Greg, Patrick and Lesley, and seven grandchildren, Jake Nelson (my son); Sarah Adams, Rachel Adams, Hannah Adams and Julia Adams (Lesley's daughters); Laura Nelson (Garry's daughter) and Alex Nelson (Greg's son).

Bette was a wonderful grandmother. She enjoyed babies and toddlers most, and she loved taking care of Jake when he was little. She also loved the beach, and, until she was not able to go any more because of her worsening disease, she rented a house for at least a week every summer at Sunset Beach, N.C. Her favorite activity was sitting in the sun and reading, but she played in the surf and the sand with the children.

Born in New Jersey and trained as a nurse, Bette was a housewife for most of her life. Because her husband was in the Army, she spent quite a few years moving around. They were posted to Germany when her oldest child was a baby, but most of their postings were in the United States -- New Jersey, California, Georgia and North Carolina.

Bette was a good mother-in-law. She was helpful in taking care of Jake, and she was never interfering or intrusive. I have missed her for quite a few years now, but I am glad that my son and I got to know her. The photo with this post is from 2004, right after Bette moved to a nursing home.

The political wisdom of Jake

I made a joke Friday morning that Barack Obama should choose someone named Roll for his vice presidential candidate -- so they could be Barack and Roll.

Jake said, "Barack Obama doesn't need to resort to a cheap pun on his name to win votes."

I still have a job

My company decided to lay off about 10 percent of its workforce. That means that 70 people will lose their jobs at The News & Observer. Chris and I are not among them. I guess I am relieved, although nothing that happened Monday reassures me that my job will be safe in the future. The most disheartening news is that we are going to have earlier press starts for the daily edition. That means that print readers won't get some late news and sports.

It's a Ben and Jerry's kind of weekend

Coffee Heath Bar Crunch is my choice as I write this. We expect to hear next week (June 16-20) about the layoffs that we have been anticipating for three weeks. The anxiety of waiting has been distracting, to say the least, and I will be relieved for the ax finally to fall, even it if severs my ties to the newspaper where I have worked since June 9, 1987. I am fully prepared to hear from my boss that I am being laid off, even if I am not prepared at all to live without a paycheck.

Either way this thing goes my life will be harder as a result. If many of my colleagues are laid off, then I will be saddened and saddled with even more work. It will be miserable to see colleagues and friends leave. We've already experienced a bit of that when two of our editors in Features took buyouts in the first round of cuts. The more I think about it the more I realize what a strong signal that was: Two talented, hardworking editors were allowed to leave. It must mean that there is no hope for Features to survive in its current form. That doesn't mean we will all be cut; some might be reassigned. I could be one of the reassigned folks. Or I could be one of the laid off folks. Either way, I am prepared to hear the news.

It would be a relief to think that I didn't have to go to work because I am pretty sure I can't continue to work under the conditions that we have now. I know that relief would be a temporary feeling. I would soon need to get to work somehow somewhere.

---

Tim Russert died Friday of a heart attack. He was 58.

Bearfoot on YouTube

I found this today as I was looking around for news about some of my favorite music. This is a YouTube video of Mike Mickelson of Bearfoot singing "Blue Yodel." The band is from Alaska, and, gee, they are cute. Good musicians, too, and I really like the way Mike sings.

Thinking about Asperger's

I heard from a man who recently received a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. He sent me an invitation to Asperger's World, so I joined and read some of his comments there. It was interesting to read what he had to say about telling his parents that he has Asperger's. Some of what he wrote reminded me that sometimes I haven't finished processing (if that's the right word) the diagnosis that my son received almost eight years ago.

It's not that I haven't accepted the diagnosis or accepted the fact that Jake will have to deal with this his whole life. The problem is the guilt and worry that I have failed to do what's best for Jake. I worry that, because we didn't know this (even though I knew Jake was different early on), we didn't get Jake the right help. I think his motor skills would be better if he had had occupational therapy as a little boy. Or that he would have less anxiety if we had figured out what was bugging him earlier. I second-guess the decision to let him get a driver's license and to have a car. I feel guilty about letting him stay in public school and about not pushing him to stay active and instead retreat to his solitary pursuits.

Then I realize that most of what happens to Jake from here on out is really up to Jake himself. He, like me and every other adult, will have to learn how to deal with the world himself. He will have to take responsibility for completing his education and for getting a job. If he makes some choices that I think are bad, I can express my opinion but I can't always be there to stop him or even to rescue him. I mean, I will do whatever I can to help him, but ultimately, the path is his to walk.

A visitor in the backyard

Our bluebird box was lying down this morning. We think a deer rubbed up against it and knocked it down. Chris and I walked down there this morning, and we were surprised by a black snake nearby. I went back to the house to get the camera, and the black snake stuck around for a while. The snake eventually slithered away.

We stepped carefully on our way back to the back porch.

 

Merlefest 2008

Chris and I went to Merlefest last weekend in Wilkesboro, N.C. This was our third year in a row at the music festival. The music was wonderful, as always, and we had mostly good weather. There was a fierce storm on Saturday, but fortunately for us, we were back at our campsite at the Wilkes County Family YMCA when the storm hit. We had gone back to the campsite to take down our canopy, which was damaged when it was blown over the day before. We had just finished putting it and some other things in our minivan when the storm hit. It was a little scary to ride out a thunderstorm in a tent, but everything turned out all right. We were relieved not to be in the middle of the festival during the worst of the storm.

One thing I like about Merlefest is discovering acts. This year's discovery was Old Crow Medicine Show, a string band with a rock attitude. I had heard of the band, but I had never seen the guys play. Perhaps I am a shallow music fan, but I was struck by the guys' cuteness as much as their music and their exuberance. I still have one of the band's songs stuck my head, "Wagon Wheel." You can see the band performing on "Austin City Limits."

We also saw one of our favorite young bands, Bearfoot, a group of 20-somethings from Alaska. We first heard the band at the Festival for the Eno a few years ago, and have seen it play at the Sharkori Hills Roots Music Festival. Again, I might be shallow, but I love the fact that these kids are rock-star good-looking as well as talented. I took the photo of the whole band, and was able to get a decent photo of Annalisa Tornfelt, who is the chief songwriter. The other members are, from left in the photo, Kate Hamre, Angela Oudean, Jason Norris and Mke Mickelson, who looks like Prince William. Mike, who plays guitar very well, also has matured into a wonderful singer. He did  "Deep River Blues" and "Blue Yodel No. 1." But Annalisa's voice continues to be a wonder. The only problem with Bearfoot at Merlefest is that their sets were repetitive. We would have liked to see them branch out more -- maybe do some more covers of old bluegrass standards.

We enjoyed a set on the main stage called Docabilly, featuring Doc Watson with several others doing 1950s songs. The very best was "Sincerely." One of the players was piano player Jeff Little, who went to Appalachian State at the same time as Chris.

Another discovery was Polecat Creek, a duo from Greensboro who play old-time music with a modern folk feel. Kari Sickenberger and Laurelyn Dossett harmonize like angels, and they sing intelligent songs. Plus, they perform with a remarkable banjo (and every other string instrument) player Riley Baugus. I had heard Polecat Creek on WUNC radio briefly, but we hadn't heard the band play live.

The absolute best moment of Merlefest for me was on Saturday morning at the Creekside stage when Rhiannon Giddens of the wonderful Carolina Chocolate Drops sang "O Holy Night" with some of the players from Polecat Creek. Oh, my, it took my breath away! Many of us who heard her had tears in our eyes. It was truly transcendent. The Chocolate Drops were great every time we saw them play, and I was gratified to see them on the main stage with their musical mentor Joe Thompson. The Chocolate Drops are cute as they can be, and Rhiannon is an exuberant, charismatic performer. Pop-star good looks with intelligent old-time music -- what a combination! (Yes, I AM shallow!)

One highlight in the funky collaborations that Merlefest is known for was a Saturday afternoon session at the Hillside stage -- The Waybacks doing songs from "Led Zeppelin II" with John Cowan singing. Cowan was reading the lyrics as he sang, but man, oh, man, he could channel the rock 'n' roll squall with the best of them. Some videos have been posted on YouTube. Of course, none sounds as good as it really was.   

We also enjoyed the Lovell Sisters, Laurie Lewis and the Right-Hand Band, Rhonda Vincent and the Rage, Levon Helm and the Rumble on the Road, and Bruce Hornsby and Ricky Skaggs with Kentucky Thunder. The Levon Helm set on Saturday night was more rock than we expected, but it did include songs from "Dirt Farmer," his old-time album. That set should have been billed as Larry Campbell with Levon Helm because the guitar player/producer Campbell really ran the show (and very well).

My snippet reviews don't do justice to the music of Merlefest. It's an overhwelming eperience in some ways. We don't have time and energy to see all the acts that we'd like to.

Here are my tips for Merlefest viewing:

• If you don't buy reserved seats at the Watson stage, set up a home base with your camp chairs in the Watson stage area. You can also spread out a tarp or a blanket, but be respectful and don't take up more space than you need. Look for a spot where you can see the main stage, the Cabin stage and the big screen. If you don't want people crawling over you all day and night, stay away from the aisles, but if you don't want to crawl over people, don't go too far in.
• You can sit in the reserved seats as long as the ticket holders are not there until 5 p.m. Take advantage of that in the early hours to get a good close-up seat for sets that draw less of a crowd.
• Take rain gear. A poncho is a good idea because you can spread it over your chair and your legs when you are seated. A day pack with your essentials is essential. You'll also need sunscreen and sun hats.
• Pack some very big garbage bags to put over your chairs when it's raining or threatening rain.
• Take a stadium seat or some other light portable chair to take with you to other stages. I have a small folding stool that I bought at Merlefest last year. It's not very comfortable, but it beats sitting on the ground for me.
• Pack snacks so you don't have to wait in line at the food tents. However, the food tents do have some good eating such as fried apple pies and apple fritters, among other things. It's not that expensive to eat at the festival, but you do save time if you carry in your own snacks. You can't carry in glass. Also, you can't have alcohol, which I think is a good rule.
• Carry a highlighter and mark the program with the acts you want to see. Get away from the big stage to see some lesser-known acts. Keep an eye out for the collaborations.
• Camping at the YMCA includes hot showers and clean facilities! The building has WiFi, and if you really need a break, you can even use the pool and fitness room. You can walk just a short distance from the Y camping to catch a shuttle bus to the festival.

 

Doc and Merle Watson

We went to Merlefest last weekend.

I'll post more later. Today I found a video on You Tube that shows Merle Watson at his peak.

Doc Watson

Chris and I are going to Merlefest on Thursday (April 24). I am listening to my favorite Doc Watson album right now. It's "Third Generation Blues," which Doc recorded with his grandson Richard, son of Merle, Doc's son and music partner. Merle was a phenomenal guitar player; he died in a tractor accident in 1985. Richard looks remarkably like Merle and plays very well too.

I like this album because of the song selection: "If I Were a Carpenter," "Summertime" and "House of the Rising Sun," among them. Doc's voice is warm and expressive, and he sounds like no one else. This is a blues album, but it's country blues with sophisticated song choice. Doc is from the mountains of North Carolina, and some people would see him as a rustic. But as a musician he is as worldly as any. He can sing and play Gershwin as well as Hank Williams or anonymous folk songs.

Here is a link to the Amazon page with "Third Generation Blues."